I've decided to play fair.
I definitely made my fair share of cracks at the students and staff at WCU during my time there. Despite all that, there is no doubt in my mind that those 6 months were the best ever of my life. Imagine then, returning to UTS.
It just doesn't compare.
It's like going from having an ocean to play in, to a little blow up kiddie pool in the back yard. It's like going to a fancy restaurant, then coming home to find you have nothing but a pack of ramen noodles and a can of creamed asparagus in the pantry. It's like having been at Hogwarts, and then being told they've made a mistake, and you're a muggle after all.
It sucks.
It does however have its own fare share of interesting characters, something I was reminded of when I started back there again on Monday.
So, as somewhat of a coping mechanism, I've decided to revive this blog and vent about the characters, creatures and events I come across in my adventures back in Sydney.
So.
First Day.
As I walk through the tunnel from the station to the jenga game which is my campus I pass three buskers, each playing the guitar. The first guy is good. Very good in fact. He's an islander and is singing with a rich voice and slapping the guitar like it's nobodys business. He's making eye contact with people who pass him and singing at them. I hope he doesn't do this to me because I'm poor, and he's good enough that I feel I should give him money.
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| Spot the radiant Jenga tower!! |
The next guy is about 30m further down the tunnel. I don't know what he's doing. He's like, this white, fat, ranga looking sheepishly down at his guitar as he half assedly (is that even a word?) strums at the strings. He's not musing to himself wistfully, he's not tuning it. He just literally doesn't know how to play it. I give him a bit of a dirty look as I pass. Learn to play or get the hell out of the way. You could make more money if you sold that thing, I feel like saying. He's got about 40c sitting in the soft black case he's sprawled out in everyones way. People are tripping over it. Maybe if we raise enough money he'll move it? I just don't know.
The last guy is this skinny Aboriginal with a scraggly beard. He's standing up and playing the guitar with passion, dancing around a little bit and singing to people. He's got the moves. I guess it's just unfortunate that he doesn't have the skills. He's playing the guitar loudly. But...it's not even music. It's just noise. He is literally just punching the neck of the guitar and hoping his knuckles find some sort of chord. I stop, stand there and stare for half a moment, out of pure shock. Compared to this guy the white dude looks like Bob Marley. Except, you know, white. Anyway. I quickly start walking again before this guy can make eye contact with me and give me the 'I-know-you've-acknowledged-me-now-spare-me-20c-you-tightass' look. He's singing as well. I wish I could excuse it as some atonal Aboriginal chant but then I distinctly hear the words 'with or without youuuuuu'. And I run the hell out of there before my ears start bleeding. I would give him money to stop.
To be honest, I'm kinda excited to be starting uni again. As much as I complain about UTS, I think that the subject I have today is going to be really good. I'm studying a communications degree, majoring in media art and production, and this subject is my final year media arts project. I've decided I'm going to film a 7 minute piece about some deep, artistic shit.
I actually arrive at the classroom early and so am able to get a full view of everyone as they file in. As they do I am reminded why I never want to be considered a typical 'Sydney youth'
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| Your typical Sydney student |
I remember being a first year, coming from a school with a strict uniform code, and being like 'Oh! Everyone here is so liberated and free spirited!'
Now it's more like. 'What the fuck are you wearing you douchbag??!!'
If you ask someone why they're wearing a cape they will legitimately look back at you with a straight face and say with a little sniff 'It's pronounced a ca- PAE'
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| A real to life portrait of a classmate |
The point of the class was to pitch our ideas for our major projects. Our tutor is this young guy who could be a student himself and was so determined to be 'the perfect teacher'. He was taking every stupid idea so seriously, nodding with conviction, maintaining a straight face. I was actually pretty impressed with him to be honest. There were a couple of times where I just laughed outright at some of the ideas. I realise this makes me sound like a bit of a snob but... gah. I just have no excuse actually. They were just plain weird and made me want to facepalm all day long.
'I'm going to do a film about these two rival gangs, one is called the Hyenas and I haven't decided what the other one is called. And they live in this noir, futuristic dystopia. One gang runs a drug syndicate and the other gang runs this brothel (which is going to be extensively themed and costumed) and then one of the gang members gets this prostitute to inseminate this rival gang member with a voodoo spirit which then causes him to go kinda crazy and bipolar. So yeah. The film is about the gang looking for a cure to a voodoo spirit'.
'So there's this unicorn. And he's just landed on earth and he's trying to find his way back. And he like, has to go through all these, like, obstacles'.
'My film is going to be made of 3 parts. One is about trying to use expired vouchers at McDonalds, One is about two next door neighbours having an argument. And for the last part I'm going to film an epic war movie. It's called 'These Hoofs are Made for Trotting'.
This class went for 3 hours.
Welcome back to Australia I guess
