Dear Cat

Dear Cat.

It's cold in this house and I have body heat you'd like to steal. But in the process of being a selfish, warmth grubbing thief, you actually turn into a hot waterbottle. Cat. You are a wizard.

Dear Cat.

When you're hungry you meow incessantly. In my ear. At 4am and 8am.
What you don't know is that I rely on you to wake me for both my witching hour bathroom dash, and my mid morning uni scramble.

Dear Cat.

You think you're pressuring me into getting up by walking up and down my back with your claws out, but really, its acupuncture. And I enjoy it. Kinda.

Dear Cat.

You were right. I did need comforting. But by sitting right on my bladder you have created a more desperate need, and for that I resent you.

Dear Cat.

My feet are wide and cold, but you are fat. In fact, tonight, you're just about the most perfect size you've ever been.