The Tale of the Pigs Head

The Story of the Pigs Head.

For my 21^st Birthday party I had a Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones theme. We went all out: costumes, themed drinks, decorations, dace paint, celtic music… the whole shebang.

Including a pigs head as decoration in the center of the table.

The party was amazing. I completely underestimated JUST how hysterical I would get seeing all my friends rock up dressed as my ultimate favourite characters from my ultimate favourite movies. The pigs head completely topped it off though and made the whole thing seem so… real.

Anyway. The next day involved a massive clean up etc and I remember mum saying halfway through…

‘Did someone grab the pigs head?’

And my dad, clearly replying.

‘Yep. I did’.

So… you’d think that would be it right? Like… Pigs head officially taken care of?

The next day was 37 degrees and I was home alone. I spent the entire day vegged out in front of the T.V and when Mum got home that afternoon her first words at the front door were.

‘Euurgh… what is that smell?’

I got up and went outside to investigate.

Now that she’d mentioned it, the stench was impossible to ignore. We went on a hunt and it didn’t take us long to discover the source. The pigs head. It had been left, wrapped up in a big plastic bag (which was now dripping) in the full heat of the sun and was letting off the filthiest, most putrid reek anyone has ever encountered. It even had maggots.

So.

I had to lift the dripping bag (dripping with WHAT exactly? Pig juice?) put it into several more bags to stem the flow. Then we got straight into the car, I was hanging out the window initially, trying to hold the pigs head as far away from me as physically possible. 

But it was SO heavy. A big hunk of boar head! So eventually I had to SIT WITH THIS THING ON MY LAP until we made it to the dump.

Which wasn’t open.

So mum and I illegally dumped it and sped away.