The Time I Tried to STAY Human

I never expected it to be like this.

You know what I’ve realized over the past 24 hours? There are some things which you take for granted all your life that perhaps you just shouldn’t. Such as being human.

It’s been less than 24 hours since the Human’s vs Zombies game began here on campus and already my life will never be the same. From here on the highways and byways are closed to me. From here on the road less traveled become my friend, whether it be path or mountain or stream. From this day forth until Saturday next week I will tell no one my name, mention nothing of my schedule or breathe a word of my residence to anyone. I must become a creature of shadows and only (maybe) then, will I survive the Zombie apocalypse.

Fig.a. Human

Fig. b. Zombie

The game itself is very simple. It’s basically a big game of tag with an Alpha zombie beginning the game and the rest of us are humans. Humans must wear a fluro bandana on any part of their arm or leg. Zombies wear their bandana on their head and neck. If a zombie tags a human, they become a zombie. If a human throws a sock ball at the zombie they are halted in their tracks and ‘stunned’ from the game for 10 mins. Occasionally the humans are e-mailed missions which they must complete. This gets them out of their rooms. The zombies are also informed of the human mission and do their best to ambush. Doesn’t sound too bad right? Doesn’t sound too mind numbingly terrifying right? WRONG. Already, of 120 humans, 15 people are zombies. I know for a fact that one of them runs 7 miles several times a week at an extremely fast pace. This man is a machine and he is out there with others (and more, many more will fall) …hunting me.

I was walking to class today. It was on a Saturday morning and this weekend has been Halloween weekend. Surely, SURELY there would be no zombies out. Just to be safe I wore my hoodie low. I made sure I only had one ear phone in so that I had an ear free to hear if anyone was sneaking up on me, I took the {this post has been edited to protect my life} and didn’t touch the main pathway until it was absolutely necessary. Until I had no other choice. And just at the moment a CONVOY of 3 cars FULL OF ZOMBIES with their CURSED bandanas GLARING at me from AROUND THEIR HEADS drove by. I must have given myself away by standing frozen like a retarded squirrel in front of headlights. I literally felt the fear fill my body and could do nothing but pray and mentally count how many sock balls I had packed in case they decided to pull over and take me then and there.

I think the only reason they didn’t see my bandana was because they had more important things on their mind. You see, there’s a human mission this morning. I’ll bet my brains that they were heading out early to set a trap. My particular mission is set for tonight.  I don’t know where or what it is.  I just hope we last the night.

Pray for me friends