Sunday, 28 February 2016

People Not To Trust

There's been some debate recently about who, as a Nation, we should and shouldn't trust. Who we should and shouldn't let into the country etc etc...
Well, to help put an end to the conversation I have put together a definitive list of key traits and characteristics of individuals who are inherently untrustworthy.

People not to trust in these times of terror and heightened security measures.
  • People who, when slicing cheese and don't cut themselves an extra slice to eat while they're putting the block of cheese back in the fridge

  • People who keep tomato sauce in the cupboard

  • People who keep Vegemite in the fridge

  • Security guards who smile too much

  • People who don't perform the perfunctory 'thanks' wave when you let them merge

  • Pedestrians who don't perform the perfunctory 'sorry' wave and increase pace when on the crossing

  • People who don't consume a hot beverage in the morning

  • People who just straight up say 'No' without even considering to put a polite, tentative 'Yeah...' in front of it

  • People who maintain too much eye contact

  • People who continue conversations while in a public bathroom

  • People who poop in public bathrooms

  • People who say “remind me to...” without putting an 'ooh!' in front of it

  • People who don't like tea

  • Car drivers when I'm a pedestrian

  • Pedestrians when I'm in a car

  • Teachers who smile too little

  • People who don't lick the spoon or bowl

  • People who drink milk ON the use by date

  • People who wear hats indoors

  • People who have never eaten nutella or milo straight out of the jar

  • People who don't like animals

  • People who walk really slowly in the centre of the narrow footpath

  • People who leave a bathroom stall without warning you that they've used up the last of the toilet paper

  • People who arrive too early 

  • People who don't like pizza

  • People who haven't seen Lord of the Rings

  • People who don't know how to put appropriate graphics to their posts



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