Elyse Becomes Moderately Functional

Let this post be a beacon of hope to all twenty-somethings out there kicking off on their own for the first time. If Elyse can do it. So can you.

This past week has been the POLAR OPPOSITE of last week, a week in which by Wednesday I was already running back for the safety of the 'Den and Mumma Hen Glynn with my tail between my legs.

After a week of wrong turns, where every decision I made seem to run from bad to worse until eventually I had to completely stop, look in the mirror (at the haggardly, hagrid-like reflection I saw there) and be like.... Elyse... what the eff are you DOING??? 

On the functionality chart I was bordering somewhere between earthworm and troll. I am proud to announce that there has been a dramatic turn around and for the time being I am at least at level Albatross/Ginny Weasley.

This week has been full of achievements, the most major one being that I didn't end up accidentally killing myself – something which I am pretty sure would have happened last week if I hadn't taken some SERIOUS TIME OUT and worked out exactly what I had to do to fulfil the requirements of becoming an adult. Let me tell you my friends, if being an adult was considered some kind of team, then I would have won the MVP award this week.

Not only did a customer come in on Sunday and compliment me on the great job I did with handling that DOUCHE BAG last week. But I also remembered to take my MOTHER FREAKING GREEN BAG TO THE MOTHER FREAKING SUPERMARKET.

'YOU ARE WELCOME MOTHER NATURE' I thought in allcaps to myself, followed closely by, 'God, I'm so good at this maturity stuff!!'

I've been followed around by this yellow glow of happiness this whole week, literally vomiting it upon people and places I touch. The bus for example....

WHICH (might I add) I MANAGED TO CATCH THE RIGHT ONE EVERY SINGLE TIME THIS WEEK. WHAT A BAMF!!!!

I feel like I've been consistently reenacting those great lines from the Queen classic 'We are the Champions'

...I've had my share of sand kicked in my face but I never LOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!!!!!!

That's right everyone. You are now looking at a girl (woman!!!???) who can now hold down a job, do a Masters degree, catch the bus and COOK FISH FINGERS.... wait for it... IN THE OVEN!!!!

Also, I didn't go on the horribly awkward 'deceptively-old-full-time-busker-who-rude-pashed-me' date this week (which in all honesty could be a blog post unto itself!)

LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME.

Next step, doing it with some kind of modesty and not high fiving myself in the street like an absolute loser when I do something right.