Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Australian College: Nudity and Awkwardness

The whole point of beginning this blog was to retell and record some of the incredible stories I experienced while living at college in America. It appears that Australian college will be no different if my first encounter is anything to go by.

I was SO SO SO excited to move into my new apartment at Macquarie. I knew that I'd be living with an Australian, an Austrian and a Ukrainian in a small place with a kitchen, living room and bathroom. So I decided yesterday to go in a little bit early and put some stuff down, make it all cozy and stuff. So mum and I drove in. I went in to get the key and the RA, Elena from Norway, showed me up to my door and told me that one of the girls was already moved in, but she didn't know who. As we entered the flat I knocked loudly and called out 'heeeeeellooooooo?' and no one answered.

There was stuff everywhere, all over the floor. Laptop, socks, books, food. It was kinda gross but, I was like... whatever. When everyone is here we'll all have to keep it clean etc. So Elena and I walked down the hallway and that was when we heard this intense swooshing of water and squeaking plastic.

'What is that?' I asked.

'I think someone is in the bath... with the door open' she replied.

How embarrassing, I thought and I wondered why she hadn't called out.

So I decided to head back to the car and get all my stuff, as well as giving the girl a bit of privacy and time to get out of the bath.

About 15 minutes later, mum and I come up, bringing my suitcase and various other stuff up three flights of stairs. I don't call out again this time. But we're making more noise than a hippopotamus on heat so I think, there is no WAY she don't know we're here this time.

We move everything to my room, and as we pass the bathroom my mum whispers.

'Elyse... there's is someone is the bath. The door is wide open'.

Oh my god! I think. I'm living with an exhibitionist!


I was in this weird place of being totally amused and kinda annoyed. I mean... I had wanted to meet my new suitemate but if she'd wanted to finish her bath she should have at least shut the door!

Whatever.

So we finish unpacking and I'm like
'Mum, I'm really busting but I don't know if that girl is still in the bath!'
Neither of us wanted to go out of the room and check. We were like two awkward school girls, standing there, finished unpacking, but imprisoned by the threat of nudity outside. Eventually I was persuaded by my insistant bladder and I ventured into the hallway. I found the toilet and just as I was turning to close the door I happened to see a glimpse of the entire naked left side of my suitemate's body, reflected in her bedroom mirror. Right. Down. The Crack. (krakken??)

OH MY GOD. SHE'S A NUDIST. WHY DOESN'T SHE SHUT THE G'DARN DOOR???!!!!


It occurs to me that I've now seen my suitemate naked before even speaking a single word to her.

I finish up in the bathroom and run back to the bedroom. Thankfully her door is closed. I don't tell mum what I've seen.

Mum and I stand there looking at each other for another 3 minutes. Finally she says,

'I'm going to to check out the kitchen'

Brave woman.

She leaves. I hear silence and then.

'Oh! I'm SO sorry'.

It's my roommate. At first I think she's naked again. But then I realise they're having a conversation and so, assuming that my mum wouldn't be able to keep such a level tone of voice if faced with a nudist, I deduce that she is fully dressed. I leave the room and finally, FINALLY meet her.

And now I look like the asshole.
Because my roommate has been living in the apartment alone since before Christmas and didn't know I'd be coming in today.
But more to the point: she is partially deaf and had to take her cochlear implant out to have a bath.

So she had no idea we were there the entire time.


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