Australian College: Nudity and Awkwardness

The whole point of beginning this blog was to retell and record some of the incredible stories I experienced while living at college in America. It appears that Australian college will be no different if my first encounter is anything to go by.

I was SO SO SO excited to move into my new apartment at Macquarie. I knew that I'd be living with an Australian, an Austrian and a Ukrainian in a small place with a kitchen, living room and bathroom. So I decided yesterday to go in a little bit early and put some stuff down, make it all cozy and stuff. So mum and I drove in. I went in to get the key and the RA, Elena from Norway, showed me up to my door and told me that one of the girls was already moved in, but she didn't know who. As we entered the flat I knocked loudly and called out 'heeeeeellooooooo?' and no one answered.

There was stuff everywhere, all over the floor. Laptop, socks, books, food. It was kinda gross but, I was like... whatever. When everyone is here we'll all have to keep it clean etc. So Elena and I walked down the hallway and that was when we heard this intense swooshing of water and squeaking plastic.

'What is that?' I asked.

'I think someone is in the bath... with the door open' she replied.

How embarrassing, I thought and I wondered why she hadn't called out.

So I decided to head back to the car and get all my stuff, as well as giving the girl a bit of privacy and time to get out of the bath.

About 15 minutes later, mum and I come up, bringing my suitcase and various other stuff up three flights of stairs. I don't call out again this time. But we're making more noise than a hippopotamus on heat so I think, there is no WAY she don't know we're here this time.

We move everything to my room, and as we pass the bathroom my mum whispers.

'Elyse... there's is someone is the bath. The door is wide open'.

Oh my god! I think. I'm living with an exhibitionist!

I was in this weird place of being totally amused and kinda annoyed. I mean... I had wanted to meet my new suitemate but if she'd wanted to finish her bath she should have at least shut the door!

Whatever.

So we finish unpacking and I'm like
'Mum, I'm really busting but I don't know if that girl is still in the bath!'
Neither of us wanted to go out of the room and check. We were like two awkward school girls, standing there, finished unpacking, but imprisoned by the threat of nudity outside. Eventually I was persuaded by my insistant bladder and I ventured into the hallway. I found the toilet and just as I was turning to close the door I happened to see a glimpse of the entire naked left side of my suitemate's body, reflected in her bedroom mirror. Right. Down. The Crack. (krakken??)

OH MY GOD. SHE'S A NUDIST. WHY DOESN'T SHE SHUT THE G'DARN DOOR???!!!!

It occurs to me that I've now seen my suitemate naked before even speaking a single word to her.

I finish up in the bathroom and run back to the bedroom. Thankfully her door is closed. I don't tell mum what I've seen.

Mum and I stand there looking at each other for another 3 minutes. Finally she says,

'I'm going to to check out the kitchen'

Brave woman.

She leaves. I hear silence and then.

'Oh! I'm SO sorry'.

It's my roommate. At first I think she's naked again. But then I realise they're having a conversation and so, assuming that my mum wouldn't be able to keep such a level tone of voice if faced with a nudist, I deduce that she is fully dressed. I leave the room and finally, FINALLY meet her.

And now I look like the asshole.
Because my roommate has been living in the apartment alone since before Christmas and didn't know I'd be coming in today.
But more to the point: she is partially deaf and had to take her cochlear implant out to have a bath.

So she had no idea we were there the entire time.

The Importance of Grandparents

One time when I was old enough for this to be embarrassing, I got stuck up a tree.

I'm not 100% sure what I thought I was doing. I think I was pretending to be a cat... and then I started climbing down the tree, got to the very lowest branch which was about 1metre up... and I freaked.

Sara tried all the ways she could think of to coax me down. Then I started crying. So when that failed she went inside and called dad, and the two of them came out, realised how stupid the situation was, and started to tease me. Eventually they got bored and went inside and just left me out there.

I hung on and sniffled to myself for a bit longer. Then I realised that I had extracted all the pity and sympathy possible from the situation, I decided that enough was enough and I had to get out of this tree. So I did this ridiculous sort of barrel roll thing and landed on the grass. Then I ran to my grandma's house (which is 4 houses up from us) and she listened sympathetically for hours while plying me with chocolates and cakes as I explained in a mix of english and broken hungarian how frightened I'd been and how cruel my family had been.

If there's one thing grandparents know how to do, it's ply their grandchildren with sugar.

My other set of grandparents are also pretty incredible. They had 9 kids and as a result I am one of 27 grandchildren. Despite this huge number, they still rememeber and call each and every one of us on our birthday.

My Pop is a particularly interesting guy. He takes it upon himself to ask me the hard hitting questions in life, like about the status of my soul (which he wasn't 100% pleased with my answer). Or informing me of the dangers of the' young bucks' in America who would 'pounce on you like fresh meat'. He seems to have a bit of a thing against Americans and took it upon himself to turn Jacob from America into 'Clyde from India' whenever he asked how he was going. It seemed to bring him a bit more piece of mind, though it never really made sense to me... :/
As awkward as it sometimes can be to have these conversations, I've grown to appreciate them as I get older. I understand that if he didn't ask them and if something happened to me, it would weigh down on his conscious for the rest of his life. Thats love for you. And its a type of love grandparents do best.

It's an awkward question, fattening, in-my-day-stories, excessive hugs, sugar high kind of love. In which really, you can do no wrong. Aren't grandparents great?

21

I used to hate rap but I've written
this in that voice
cause I want it to be poetry
to music, what could be better than
that choice?


So I'm twenty one now and I've been mentally evasive.
Drown out the throughs that scare me, are abrasive

Like now I've passed the time
of getting away with minor crime
missed my boat on that chance, how time does fly.

But what I've learned up to this point
I'm called to put into action
Its like the testing's done.
No more trials or accidents.

Get drunk too often, its not a phase it's addiction
And how long can I get away with treating real work like an affliction?

The internet, the great equaliser
everyone heard equally.
but do my actions mean a thing
or do they fizzle out like Kony?

I'm scared of others my age
who seem to have it altogether.
I mean, right now I'm fine
but what if I hit stormy weather?

I'm scared that I don't know real life
I'm guilty of the thought
that something bad will happen, just
so I'll know my strengths and put to practise what I've been taught.

Don't want to fall in love just because I like the feeling.
The next one has to be worth it
it takes too long to get done healing.

I worry too much still about people
who don't give a damn about me.
I'm trying to save my time and energy
now for those of good company.

I've realised now I give myself away so easily.
I'm learning to retain my soul
in a war designed to beat me.

I've still so much to learn, so much I don't
want to miss, A
chance to explore myself yet
be a good role model for my little sister.

The world before me and my feet are finally
finding traction
through each experience, positive
and negative interaction

To spend more time in the dark,
and inside myself
to not have a blank mind or let
it rust upon a shelf.

To continually grow
to develop and learn.
In time I'll know to avoid the ways that I can
be burned

So I'll grow old and wise, and I hope I'll be happy
and be fulfilled with my life,
to have lived elegantly.