The Nutella Chronicals

It's become soul consuming and I'm fast realising that I'm in deep. DEEP trouble.
Nutella.
It's become (to put it mildly) a bit of a problem for me. A problem which began somewhere around the time that I noticed this soft, smooth, brown, succulent devil spread can be drunk as easily as water.

All too often I find myself alone in the kitchen, armed with a teaspoon, battling my inner Nutella obsessed leprechaun.

Like I said. It's become a bit of a problem.


It all came to a head when Danielle went to the pantry yesterday and opened it.


No nutella.

She looked at me firstly in panic, then in slight disgust, then... in pure, undiluted rage.

'Where. Is. The. Nutella?' she said slowly, menacingly and began to advance towards me, brandishing her bread knife.

"Danielle I swear to God I don't know. I asked YOU to hide it from ME remember!?' (This moment of sanity occurred in one of my rare lucid moments, possibly while the leprechaun was napping).

She pauses. Somehow the fog of her Nutella blood lust clears a little. We hear a snicker from the study.

"Mum?"

No reply. We instantly know she's guilty because our mother had super powers and can hear anything being said from anywhere in the house.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

Mum: "I hid it... again"

We both stared at one another in shock. It is a rare moment when mum is THIS involved in our food choices. (Note: Crap. I just typed 'mom' and had to backspace. I'm going to hell)

Danielle turned on the puppy eyes: Mum? Where is it? You know I can be trusted. It's Elyse who can't
Elyse: It's true. I can't
Mum: No, no. All children must be out of the room before I get the Nutella out.
Danielle: please! Elyse will close her eyes!
Mum: No. I don't trust her
Elyse: Good. You shouldn't. I can't be trusted with the Nutella.
Danielle: Elyse! Please! Just don't peek.
Elyse: I'd promise... but I'll break that promise.
Danielle (getting desperate now) Pleeeease mum. Just show me where it is! We can hide it again after somewhere else.
Mum: No! This is the best hiding place I've ever found.

We were at an impasse.

Mum: Okay. Here's what we're going to do. You have to cover your head with my jacket Elyse, and you too Danielle. And THEN I'll get the Nutella.
Danielle: WHAT!?
Mum: Thats the condition

She left us no choice

And this is what Wednesday night at the Glynn household consisted of. All because of my unhealthy obsession with Nutella. If anyone knows of any support groups, please hook me up.