Stuck on a Train When You Need to go to the Bathroom

I call this piece, 'Stuck on a Train When You Need to go to the Bathroom' because right at this moment as I'm writing it, I'm stuck on a train, and I need to use a bathroom. We've been stuck here on this train for over an hour. Just sitting here casually. Actually, now that I'm looking at the time I would say it's been more like 2 hours.

'Mechanical failures' they call it. I think it's more like some 'human failure'. Trains don't just break down out of the blue. Some inspector somewhere along the line just didn't do his job, missed something important or did something wrong. There is human error involved SOMEWHERE along the line! STOP TRYING TO AVOID THE BLAME.

My mp3 player has run out of battery during my wait here. That's a REAL mechanical failure for you. I don't mind if I miss class so much. But when I have to miss class and can't listen to the music I want to... Someone is going to get shot.

OH WAIT! They're making an announcement!

They've had to take the front 4 carriages of the train off and are going to move them. Then, we're going to have to wait until they get another driver to move us. I think?! Oh city rail. You've done it again.

Anyway.

I guess when you're stuck in a carriage like this you begin to appreciate all the people around you a little bit more. There are 11 other people in here with me. This may be a bit of a stretch but, I'm going to say that we've become like family during this time.

Oh, don't get me wrong. We haven't even spoken to one another. But we've all shared the roll of the eyes as the train first stopped, the frustrated clench of eyebrows as time ticked on, the nervous chuckle as our carriage rolled back and forth, hitting the two carriages on either side of us and now, finally, the long, loud expulsion of air that comes from just being bored and frustrated.

So there's a guy about my age sitting at the front of the carriage. He looks a bit like Cameron Locke from high school but I don't think he's autistic. Maybe he is? He seems very fidgety. He keeps looking at me as if I'm supposed to know. 'What?' I want to ask him. 'What am I supposed to know? You think I can fix this? I'm sorry. I can't. Stop scratching your head, stop twisting your body around. Stop looking at me and just find a comfortable spot against the window like the rest of us have. I'm sorry your ipod has run out of battery too. I know. 'Mechanical failure'.

Why, why did I drink two bottles of water before getting on this train. WHY!?

There is a guard walking around now with water. I can hear him saying

'Who can I give the water to?'

It's just like the tap dripping scenario. They're doing this deliberately I know it. All anyone is saying around here is 'water, water, gushing, peeing...'

Someone else just said something and then the guard replied

'Nah, because then that becomes discrimination'

This whole situation is now just ridiculous. I wonder what the other guy's suggestion was. Only give the water to old people? Only to black people? I can't imagine that just giving the bottles of water to thirsty people would be a discrimination issue? Why are they even bothering with water? We all walk around in a constant state of dehydration anyway. I'd rather them provide us with... y'know...a portaloo or something. Or like, just work out how to fix the bloody train. Yup. That would be much better than worrying about who gets the water.

God I need to use a bathroom

Needless to say, I will not be making it to my douchebag rampant class today