The Time I Became Addicted to Mustard

So,

Those who know me well will know that I occasionally go through weird food obsessions. A bit like the bird man (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XM3vWJmpfo) except for instead of putting a bird on everything to make it better there was the feta cheese phase, the BBQ sauce phase, the couscous phase, the porridge phase and now, finally, we've arrived at the mustard.

I've always liked mustard.

From the time when my taste buds became sophisticated enough not to think that anything which was not coco pops was devil food I've enjoyed the tang of mustard. A little bit on my turkey sandwich every now and again.

Then I came to America.

In my house we share a kitchen and inside the fridge is are communal tubs (jar, bottle, whatever squeezy thing...) of tomato sauce and mustard. The tomato sauce one comes out properly. Like, in an even, steady, predictable flow. The mustard, not so much.

At first I was like,

'oh. wow. so much mustard'

But the third or fourth time this happened to me, I must have evolved to not notice it as much. In fact, it became a bit like

'Hmm! So much mustard!'

and then eventually

'why you no more mustard?'

I didn't even realise what a problem it was becoming.

Having a sandwich? Put some mustard on it. Scrambling some eggs? Mustard those babies up! Let's just eat some mustard directly off the spoon! Yeah! Great idea!!

Then I began experimenting.

I didn't realise how much of a problem it was becoming until the other night when I ate two dinners just so that I could put mustard on the top. Eventually I just got a pile of spinach leaves, shredded up a few slices of turkey and doused them in mustard. After I finished that I did the same again, this time without the turkey. I made extra sure to get mustard on the plate so that I could lick it clean when I'd finished the spinach. And boy did I ever.

For dinner today I bought a salad from Chik-Fil-A. And then I put mustard on it, totally engrossed in my task, oblivious to everyone dry retching around me.

I finally realised that I had a problem tonight when I was making myself some baked beans and while they were in the microwave I was like, 'Y'know what these need? some mustard'.

So yes.

That's the story of my battle with the mustard.

I'm sure it will pass. All my food fads eventually do.