Grinchin'

The Christmas season starts earlier each year.
And each year that I see the green and red decorations at the front of shops in late October/early November I get a little bit Grinchy.

So here is my pre christmas gripe, in hope that by the time Christmas actaully comes around, I'll have given into the festivities and will be shouting Christmas praises to the sky.

Why Australia? Why.

Why are we still singing songs about 'Jingle bells' and 'Frosty the Snowman' when it is 40C (100F) outside?
'I'm dreaming of a white Christmas'?

For gods sake my beautiful, sweltering southern hemisphere country. Its summer here in Christmas time. Embrace it. 

But while we're on the topic of the songs.

There needs to be some official rule about when it is okay to start singing and playing Christmas songs in shops. Yes. I understand. It was a very, silent, holy night on the night of the first christmas. A very, VERY silent, holy night. But please. Please. Only subject me to that song, at the very VERY earliest, two weeks before Christmas. Please. And whosoever dares even HUM a Christmas tune after boxing day in my presence will feel the full extent of my wrath.

Another thing which should never have been allowed to become a part of Christmas, is the motion detector santa

'HO! HO! HO! MEEEEEERY CHRISTMAS!!!! JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS....'

MRRRAAAAAUUUGHHHHH!!!!

Okay. But other than those things, Christmas is usually fine.

Except that I end up broke and fat by the end of it.

Again. Christmas in summer. Why Australia? Why?

siiiigh. Now... when I rule the world... hahaha. 

All I want

Its a frightening and exciting life being led these days. 

Finishing off a 3 year life commitment at uni, the world is open again, in fact, more so than it was after the HSC. Because when that finished there was the pressure to put your hard work and energy to use. For a little while it seemed like your study choices and locations of study were judged, that the world was a little bit out to get you. As my cousin Matt would say: 'Like a midget at a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes'.

        MAKE SURE YOU DO SOMETHING                WORTHWHILE ELYSE. 
    STOP WITH ALL THE SQUANDERING

So... of course. My response to that was to go out and get a film degree...

My lack of exams and max 9 hour weekly contact hours made a lot of  people sick. My sister especially: 'How is this a real degree again?'

Unfortunately if I could have shut her down quickly I would have. 3 years later and having done a subject which was essentially 'the theory of theory' I'm still wondering the same question.You know what I've realised now though?
In the time I've been 'studying' I actually gave myself a couple of great gifts. I gave myself time and I gave myself life experience. 

How was I supposed to know what I wanted to do as soon as I left school? I really hadn't done ANYTHING which would give me any indication of my real world interests. I hadn't even had a proper job! I mean... I'd been a paper girl. But all that had shown me was that I didn't want to be a paper girl. How is anyone supposed to know straight away?

I knew I couldn't go back into intense study straight away. HSC had done me in. I was gone. My brain well and truly fried. So I was gentle on myself, I picked something fun. And it was in fact the best decision I could have ever made because it gave me the chance to travel, to relax and get to know myself. I legitimately feel ready now to make some life decisions. I've earned the right to take ownership for my own life.

I realised last night that this year especially I have gone the FULL spectrum of the emotional scale and have come to know myself inside out.

And then inside out all the fuck over again.

I feel like I've known exhilarating happiness and crippling sadness. 
I've been affected by death and illness, but also been totally and utterly consumed in love - which is the best feeling in the world. Until that too ends and then you find yourself curled in a little ball on the kitchen floor with your knuckles pressed firmly against your eyes. 
I've felt genuine fear for my safety on the streets of Atlanta, but also complete and total abandon. For me running is such a release. 
I've had every single one of my beliefs challenged and cut down, and had to rebuild them from the floor up. Changing them to make understanding in my new world view. 
I still don't know exactly what I believe. And I think the moment I know I'm right, I'm almost definitely wrong.

Leaving uni in a week, I don't feel daunted, even though I don't know exactly where my future for next year lies, let alone my life ahead. I am filled with the sense that I have the personal power to really do or achieve anything I set my mind wholeheartedly to.

In fact, there's only one thing I will never be able to and that is to run my hands and rub my face in Aslan's thick, golden mane.

Damn you C.S Lewis